Behind every great costume boutique is a team of dedicated professionals. At the Cat Burglar Costume Boutique, that team is three cats, a mannequin and a plant. We would like to introduce them.
Madame Velvet Shadow, Founder and Chief Dresser
Madame Velvet Shadow founded the boutique after noticing that cats who dressed with confidence were treated with more respect by humans, who frequently opened doors for them. She is a long haired black cat with a voice like a closing drawer. She does not take questions, but she will accept compliments, in writing, via the shelf.
Her favourite item in the shop is the Midnight Cloak, which she wears on Fridays. Her least favourite is anything with a bell.
Sneaky Pete, Head of Security and Fittings
Sneaky Pete is a tuxedo cat with a worried expression, which is useful in security. He guards the shop entrance, the stockroom and the chair he sleeps in. He has a perfect record: nothing has ever been stolen from the shop on a day when he has been awake.
His hobbies include looking out of the window, looking out of the other window, and looking out of the skylight, in case a different sort of burglar is on the way. In a sense, he is the loyal opposition.
Colonel Biscuitworth, Returns and Complaints
The Colonel is a very old, very round ginger cat who sits behind the returns desk. He has not been seen to move since March. Customers who need to speak to him usually leave a note, and the note is typically gone by the morning, and so, soon after, is the customer’s confidence.
Other members of staff
- Maureen the mannequin: she models the autumn collection and does so without complaint
- Fernando the fern: he is in charge of morale, and has been wilting since the third quarter
- The Mystery Cat: nobody knows who he is, but he is always here, and we pay him in snacks
Our values
We believe in good design, bold colour (black), and honest service. We do not believe in refunds for things you ate. We do not believe in stairs.
Join us
We are always looking for new team members, provided they can be silent, fit through a cat flap, and tolerate being measured. No experience is required, though a criminal record would be seen as a sign of commitment.
The Cat Burglar Costume Boutique is a fictional business created for entertainment. Any resemblance to real shops or real cats is entirely accidental.